What does your listening say?

Something to try...

Next time you’re in a conversation or a meeting or some kind, ask yourself: "What does my listening say?"

In other words - what might others be noticing in you while you sit there listening? What non-verbal signals are you sending through your eyes, your smile, the way you’re sitting, the noises you’re making (...or the lack thereof!)?

I asked some of the folks I’ve been working with this month what they "hear" in the way others listen, and here’s just a few of their answers…

• What the heck are you talking about?
• I think that’s a great point
• Enough of this listening thing, I want to talk
• I already know this
• I’m enjoying this! 
• I am struggling to follow you
• Can I get a coffee yet? 

As you can see - some positive, some not so positive. And no doubt, all familiar!

... and 3 reasons why 

1. The way we listen has a direct impact on the level of courage people then have to speak freely. If your listening face looks disinterested, dismissive or unimpressed, I’m more likely to stay quiet and censor my contribution for fear of the repercussions. If you want to unlock a diverse range of perspectives, then the way you listen is the key. 
   
   
2. In the world of improvised theatre, there’s a mantra I love: "Make your partner look good". It’s such a great principle to live your life by. The more you make others look (and feel) good, the better they’ll perform. I use a similar mantra with the U14 basketball team I coach: "Make each other feel like champions." There’s so many ways you can do this, and the way you listen to others is one of the most overlooked of those.
   
   
3. As humans, we need to feel heard. We thrive on acknowledgment. Choosing to listen in a way that is loaded with positive, appreciative and empathic signals could be the most valuable gift you give a fellow human today. 

So go on, ask yourself: "What does my listening say?"

Cheers

Simon